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I am so lost

KnottieKnottie
in Budget and DIY Weddings
This coming April, Andy and I will have been together 6 years. I've known him for almost 7. We have lived together for 5 years. We have been engaged for almost 2 years. Andy and I are extremely happy together. I grow so tired of not having any money to start this wedding. 

My Mother is going to be difficult about everything. I'm scared she will make it all about her. I'm only 27 and I'll be 28 this year. I want to stay a young and pretty bride, but I feel like doors are slamming shut. I need advice. 

I would just elope, but I'm an only child and the first one in my family's kids to even get this far. I couldn't hurt my family like that. I have so many problems. I don't want a church wedding. I am not religious. Can anyone maybe make me feel better?

Please...
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Re: I am so lost

  • southerncutiesoutherncutie
    I say go to JOP and just do  simple wedding that you and the FI can afford. 
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  • scribe95scribe95
    You sound so sad.

    Honestly rent out a picnic pavilion, hire an officiant, have an afternoon wedding with cake and punch. Invite only your closest family and friends. Then live a wonderful live with your new husband.
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  • AddieL73AddieL73
    Having gotten married last year at the apparently ancient and ugly-inducing age of 38, I'm a tad annoyed about the " I want to stay a young and pretty bride" comment, but I'll get over it. You can have a perfectly lovely wedding on a budget. It doesn't have to be elaborate to be nice or to be romantic. Besides, the marriage is far more important than the wedding.
    photo 2pics_zps4cff3adc.jpg Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • misshart00misshart00
    I agree with everyone else. You can definitely have a nice wedding on a budget. Have a pretty wedding in a park with cake and punch. I am curious though, did you discuss a timeline and budget when you got engaged? 2 years is a long time to be engaged without thinking about your plans for a wedding.
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  • KnottieKnottie
    In Response to Re: I am so lost:
    [QUOTE]I say go to JOP and just do  simple wedding that you and the FI can afford. 
    Posted by southerncutie[/QUOTE]


    That seems to be the theme, the JOP, which is excellent. Our guest list is only 85 people. I just had my last $300.00 stoeln from me. I have $250.00 to my name. Andy only has a couple of hundred. My Mom is dead weight. She takes forever to do any damn thing or else I would take matters into my own hands.
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  • KnottieKnottie
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_budget-weddings_i-am-so-lost?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:665Discussion:206ed7b7-ea06-4f13-97ed-89a4680b6273Post:39add43b-c49a-4db9-a4dc-a5ead20fa00d">Re: I am so lost</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with everyone else. You can definitely have a nice wedding on a budget. Have a pretty wedding in a park with cake and punch. I am curious though, did you discuss a timeline and budget when you got engaged? 2 years is a long time to be engaged without thinking about your plans for a wedding.
    Posted by misshart00[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>We are very poor. My Mom cannot be trusted, but she's all I have. I am in the dark about so many things.

    </div>
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  • scribe95scribe95
    Okay. If you two truly have only $500 to your name you really have no business planning a wedding. You need to get your life and finances together. Start with a counselor because the comment about wishing you were dead is scary and needs to be addressed.
    Also, your Mom is irrelevant to this. Plan your own wedding. And stop calling her dead weight. It's rude.

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  • nswearensweare
    I am so sorry you are going thru this. I completely understand where you are coming from. FI and I are broke with a capital B. We both have law degrees and are licensed attorneys. We have our lives together, but our finances are a mess because the job market is bad. I am currently working at a firm making good money, but it is a temporary position. Therefore, we feel that it is best to save any excess money I make in order to live after this job finishes. Honestly, the $50 it would cost to go to the courthouse would be a hardship. This doesn't mean we don't deserve the benefits and security of marriage. I am sad because I had envisioned a small but nice wedding. However, we simply cannot afford it. We come from poor families and they are not in a position to help (nor is it their responsibility).
     I guess my point is that I understand your sadness. I have had to somewhat grieve the loss of the dream I had as a little girl. You should allow yourself the time to privately grieve it too. Once the sadness passes you will hopefully come to the realization that you will be spending the rest of your life with the person you love most in the world and that's a beautiful thing, no matter how it happens. Good luck to you.
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  • southerncutiesoutherncutie
    ok im now annoyed ---- calling your mom dead weight is rude and disrespectful be thankful you have a mom.  mine is dead.  so she wont be there to see me wed and she hasn't been around for many milstones in my daughters life.  you sound ungrateful. 


    as a PP previously said you have been engaged for 2 yrs there are ways to make it work. 

    you sound like you need counseling about making the comment you would rather be dead than married. 

    stop making excuses but on big girl pants and budget
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  • LoredLored
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_budget-weddings_i-am-so-lost?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:665Discussion:206ed7b7-ea06-4f13-97ed-89a4680b6273Post:d5dfd903-3257-4697-b227-7d52909d2954">Re: I am so lost</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I am so lost : I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it that way. I'm just scared and crying and writing out of fear and distressed. I'm usually embrace aging, but I'm just so sad. I almost wish I were dead.
    Posted by iamshortandgeeky[/QUOTE]



    It sounds like there is a lot more going on here. I also encourage you to seek counseling.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_budget-weddings_i-am-so-lost?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:665Discussion:206ed7b7-ea06-4f13-97ed-89a4680b6273Post:f8dcd0ec-9b9e-417d-a6ea-907defc16109">Re: I am so lost</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I am so lost : That seems to be the theme, the JOP, which is excellent. Our guest list is only 85 people. I just had my last $300.00 stoeln from me. I have $250.00 to my name. Andy only has a couple of hundred. My Mom is dead weight. She takes forever to do any damn thing or else I would take matters into my own hands.
    Posted by iamshortandgeeky[/QUOTE]
    I'm not sure what your mom has to do with you having enough money to get married.
    image
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