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Etiquette
How should I word a reception invite?
My fiance and I are having a wedding out of state and my family fully understands why and agrees with it. It is important to me, as well as my parents that we do a reception so that my father and I can still have our dance and some of the reception rituals. We have reserved a bar, where the option to drink will be avaliable, and at 9, the bar will open to the public for a show that we booked. What is the best way to word an invite, sharing that we have eloped but would still really like the presence of everyone to share our excitement? and do I need to let them know that at 9:00 a live rock band will take stage and the bar will be open to all patrons, not just family and close friends?
Re: How should I word a reception invite?
I appreciate all help! I'm pretty lost...
My fiance is very well known in our home town. Our guest list would be a mile long, and I really don't want to plan a wedding, let alone a big one. My family is in agreement with it, only because I agreed that we wanted to celebrate with friends and family at a later date. It's not very uncommon to do it this way in our town, in fact we're the third wedding doing it this way.
The bar we are holding it at is owned by two close friends of ours, they agreed to close down the bar up until 9 pm so that we can have a private event so that our family would be able to come and celebrate with us without a bunch of random people interrupting. We will be opening the doors to the public at 9, so that anyone who wants to see said band can, and so that our dear friends can still make some money on a saturday night. Also, because my fiance and I would like to let loose as well!
The bar will be open through the whole day, however it will not be an OPEN bar, as tbh, we can't afford it. It's more of a get together/party with a few traditions that are important to me and my parents thrown in.
I'm trying to keep it as stress free as possible.
We also have a lot of people that even if they didn't recieve an invite would show up to the wedding anyway, which is why we can't do just a private ceremony prior to the reception. It's really hard to convey everything through text. It's a lot to explain. Haha!
I'm not sure if the owners will do something special for us prior to opening the doors at 9, I will need to sit down and discuss that with them for sure.
I'm not going to tell my guests they CAN'T drink, i'm leaving that up to them. And I'm sure our friends will be doing something special. I am not worried about that at all, TBH.
All I need to know is how I should word a reception only invite. But I have got that figured out.
I'd be fine without wearing my wedding dress, that was a request from multiple family members.
[QUOTE]We're having it there because it's owned by two very dear friends and because it's the first place him and I spent time together. It has sentimintal value. I'm not going to tell my guests they CAN'T drink, i'm leaving that up to them. And I'm sure our friends will be doing something special. I am not worried about that at all, TBH. All I need to know is how I should word a reception only invite. But I have got that figured out. I'd be fine without wearing my wedding dress, that was a request from multiple family members. :)
Posted by Wilsonpartyof2[/QUOTE]
Really not trying to give you a hard time, just curious what "something special" you think your bar owning friends will do for you. Please tell me you're not hoping they'll just "open the bar" for your reception as a gift.
Everyone is on a budget. However, if you can't afford this party, simply don't have it. Or cut your guest list. Or revamp your budget to save enough. Just don't invite me to your "wedding" and ask me to pay for a glass of Chardonnay.
I haven't had a chance to sit down and discuss anything with my friends yet. So I don't know what we're doing. But that's why I said i'm not too worried about it.
However, I would NEVER expect anyone to do such a thing as open the bar to my patrons for free, that's horrible.
Neither of our families really drink, the people who do will be coming when the bar opens to the public and NO at that time i'm not paying for an open bar.
For people who aren't trying to "sounds like an ass or give me a hard time" the choosing of words that some people are choosing, and the way it is being portrayed through text isn't very polite. So, since I feel I recieved the answer needed I will no longer be checking back or responding, and you guys can keep your rude "advice" to yourself. It seems people are forgetting this is MY wedding, not theirs.
[QUOTE]I think you guys are missing what I"m trying to say. I haven't had a chance to sit down and discuss anything with my friends yet. So I don't know what we're doing. But that's why I said i'm not too worried about it. However, I would NEVER expect anyone to do such a thing as open the bar to my patrons for free, that's horrible. Neither of our families really drink, the people who do will be coming when the bar opens to the public and NO at that time i'm not paying for an open bar. For people who aren't trying to "sounds like an ass or give me a hard time" the choosing of words that some people are choosing, and the way it is being portrayed through text isn't very polite. So, since I feel I recieved the answer needed I will no longer be checking back or responding, and you guys can keep your rude "advice" to yourself. It seems people are forgetting this is MY wedding, not theirs.
Posted by Wilsonpartyof2[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>We should really be keeping a tally of how may of these posts we've gotten over the past two weeks.</div><div>
</div><div>We're all trying to nicely tell you that having a cash bar is rude. And having a cash bar IN A BAR is even more obviously rude. You, yourself, are probably not rude. Nobody hates you. Nobody is trying to pick on you just for funsies. We're trying to help you be a good host.</div><div>
</div><div>And it stops being YOUR "wedding" when you invite other people. With an attitude like this, you should probably skip this "reception" altogether because it's not about you - it's about being a good host to your guests.</div><div>
</div><div>ETA: When you ask for advice on an ETIQUETTE board, we're going to let you know what the correct etiquette is. And asking guests to pay for anything is poor etiquette.
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[QUOTE]I think you guys are missing what I"m trying to say. I haven't had a chance to sit down and discuss anything with my friends yet. So I don't know what we're doing. But that's why I said i'm not too worried about it. However, I would NEVER expect anyone to do such a thing as open the bar to my patrons for free, that's horrible. Neither of our families really drink, the people who do will be coming when the bar opens to the public and NO at that time i'm not paying for an open bar. For people who aren't trying to "sounds like an ass or give me a hard time" the choosing of words that some people are choosing, and the way it is being portrayed through text isn't very polite. So, since I feel I recieved the answer needed I will no longer be checking back or responding, and you guys can keep your rude "advice" to yourself. It seems people are forgetting this is MY wedding, not theirs.
Posted by Wilsonpartyof2[/QUOTE]
We're not telling you to have your bar owner friend let people frink for free. We're telling you that you need to find a way to host your invited guests. If I got a formal invitation to essentially meet you at a bar and buy my own drinks like any other Saturday night, I'd be really confused. If you're not going to formally host anything, don't formally invite anyone. Scale back the guest list so you can provide something for the guests you're inviting.
Also, I would feel silly prancing around in my wedding dress after my wedding. I would feel like a freak doing it in a bar with the general public.
You'd be cool with that? Because that's exactly what you're doing to your guests.
I get what you're trying to do. I would talk to your friends that own the bar and see if from 7-9 you could offer your guests draugh beer, and two specialty drinks (made w/ house liquor), and you and your DH should cover the cost for that. And a few nibbles, which you could probably bring from home since your friends own the place.
RE: wording, I'd do: " the pleasure of your company is requested at a reception to celebrate the recent marriage if Bride and Groom. Please join us at 7 pm. and Joe's Bar.. We hope eveyrone can stay for the 9p.m. Pink Floyd show."