And, I wasn't thinking when I knee-jerked when he asked and said that was fine with me.
Big whoops on my part.
However, as the days have ticked by, I've gotten more and more uncomfortable with this idea.
His reason for wanting her to attend is because their son is going to be his best man (his son lives with us, his ex-wife only takes him every other weekend and occasional holidays).
He'll waffle on if they're friends or not.
In their past, they had a JP and then an 'official' wedding, so in essence, they got married twice.
I've never been married, so this is my first.
I don't like her, I don't talk to her, but she calls my FI quite a bit, and not just to discuss their son, which I've pointed out to him isn't exactly appropriate when she's coming to my FI for advice instead of asking her new husband for advice.
And, I thought about doing the "courtesy" invite if I was -positive- she'd do the 'right' thing and decline. But, I just don't trust her to have the good sense to do that.
My FI's elderly grandmother's coming, and she's not overly fond of his ex either.
My parents are paying for the bulk of the reception, and our guest list is getting, not dangerously close, but inching towards the top end without them on the list.
However, I've already said it was okay if she came.
How big of a wench do I sound if I tell him:
I've been thinking about this for the past few weeks, and the more I think about it, the more uncomfortable I am with the idea of your ex-wife at -our- wedding. She already got to marry you twice. I only get to marry you once, and I would rather be surrounded by -our- friends and loved ones and not deal with the discomfort of her being there.
Maybe I'm just over-thinking it.
Any advice?
Smile, grin and bear it if she shows up? Or tell him now (before our Save the Date cards go out)?